


Giving Up (Not Really)

by Oof (littlegigglefitz)



Category: South Park
Genre: Adorable Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Feels, Background Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger, Bisexual Stan Marsh, Boys In Love, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, Eventual Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Falling In Love, Gay, Gay Kyle Broflovski, Genderfluid Kenny McCormick, Genderfluid Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Homophobic Language, Homosexuality, Illnesses, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kyle Broflovski & Stan Marsh Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentioned Butters/Kenny, Mentioned Tweek/Craig, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, POV Kyle Broflovski, Past Relationship(s), References to Depression, References to Drugs, References to Kenny dying, Sick Character, Slow Burn, Tags Contain Spoilers, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:20:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25539421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlegigglefitz/pseuds/Oof
Summary: Sometimes, life didn't turn out the way you wanted it to.And that's perfectly okay.Kyle-centric, possible OOC.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Giving Up (Not Really)

When Kyle was younger, his parents constantly told him he had a future ahead of him. He was smart, logical, and kind. Although he could sometimes be easily set off due to his short temper, he usually could rationalize between good decisions and bad. He made responsible choices, and always tried to learn from experiences he had growing up.

He was pretty sure he wanted to do something useful with his life. Maybe become a lawyer like his father, or a doctor like his mother wanted. He had the brainpower for it, so what could stop him?

It never quite occurred to him, or really to anyone else in general, that things like him needing a kidney transplant would necessarily be a general warning sign for him to keep an eye out for possibilities in the future. After all, it was one incident, and he was fine afterward, so why would he need to worry? It wasn't like he _always_ sick or something.

So the February he came down with a really bad flu, he didn't think much of it other than it was flu season. His mom let him stay home for about a week, and he sat on the couch and watched Terrance and Phillip while his mother made him seeming bowls of matzo ball soup to sip on. It was pretty typical, nothing out of the ordinary when he was sick. Stan delivered his homework from his different classes, stopping in for a few minutes to chat. His best friend didn't get sick often, so he didn't mind staying for a few minutes after dropping off the work.

A week later he was back in school, doing typical things with his friends. He still wasn't feeling a hundred percent (he was extremely tired and a bit nauseous, but it wasn't necessarily severe), but his mom insisted he go to school so he wouldn't miss anything else. He was in middle school, after all. Missing too many days could end up with him failing his courses. 

In March, he still wasn't feeling much better and started getting small pains in his stomach. It wasn't alarming to him, after all, it mainly happened after he ate. He thought maybe he was eating too much since he felt full after only a few bites, so he started cutting down on what he ate to avoid any discomfort. He didn't think it was that big a deal, even when his mom took him to the doctor for a checkup since he was still feeling a little sick. The doctor didn't pay _to_ much attention, swabbing him for strep and a few other bacterial infections. When it came back positive, he prescribed a few antibacterial for him to take and assured his mother it was nothing serious. Kyle stayed home a few days after before returning to school.

As the weather warmed, a lot of people started commenting on the fact he was always wearing his jacket indoors. He shrugged it off saying he was chilly, and people left it at that. It was South Park, after all, a snowy mountain terrain surrounding their town and county. Lots of people wear jackets until summer started.

By the end of April Kyle had been in and out of the doctor's office six times since the beginning of March, contracting viruses often and having low-grade fevers every week or so. His mom worried about it, especially when he started losing weight, but he didn't necessarily pay much attention to it since he felt full most of the time. It wasn't bad to lose weight if he wasn't hungry, right? Since he was eating enough to make himself full, it should be perfectly fine.

He continued to do normal things every twelve-year-old did. He'd go out and play ball with his friends, hang out and play video games, go to school, and (reluctantly) do his homework. 

Everything was relatively normal, besides him being ill every so often.

-and then everything changed overnight one rainy morning at the end of April.

He doesn't remember much from that time, mainly "sleeping" throughout it, so most of what he "remembers" is actually from what other people told him after the fact.

On April 26th, at 6:15 am, his mom came into his room to wake him. He didn't budge, so his mom left to wake up his five-year-old brother and help him get up and ready for the day. She gave him a ten-minute warning, notifying him he _better_ have his ass up when she came back in. When she came back he still hadn't even gotten up, so she pulled the covers off him and again repeated to tell him to get out of bed. Apparently, he didn't listen or even react, so she nudged him and threatened to ground him if he didn't start listening. Still, he didn't move an inch.

His mom started to get a bit anxious, shaking him to try and rouse him. He only groaned softly, his eyebrows pinching together in a pained expression. That was when his mom decided to look down.

According to her, he had been _drenched_ in sweat, his pajamas thoroughly soaked. That wasn't what alarmed her though. His shirt had ridden up a bit, exposing the soft skin of his belly. It was a little distended, not incredibly noticeable, but still a bit concerning. His breathing was also a bit off, almost rapid and airy. This of course made her panic, and she urgently called his father into the room to confirm exactly what she was seeing. His dad reacted similarly and started trying to wake him up. It didn't work, however, and in a state of panic, he called an ambulance.

After that, he was told he was rushed to the hospital. He had an extremely high fever (104*F) and a critical infection of the stomach that had spread to his lungs. What could have caused such a life-threatening condition overnight stumped the doctors, and they quickly drew blood and looked over his previous history. Their first thought was his kidney's, but that was ruled out. His condition worsened, and although his blood test results showed _severe infection_ , there was no indication of what could be wrong. 

In retrospect, his mom wished she hadn't forgotten to tell them about his distended stomach since it would've helped him overall in the long run. Since she didn't though (she was more worried about his breathing) it wasn't addressed until much later, when the doctor decided to do a full-body exam. Why that wasn't done in the first place was beyond him, but he guesses since (again) it is South Park, it wasn't necessarily uncommon. 

It started to get worse a few hours after he was admitted, and his doctors decided the best thing was to put him on a respirator since his breathing was extremely shallow and labored. He was told he stayed on it for three weeks, not waking up whatsoever as his body tried to fight off the fever and infection. He does remember when he was taken off of it, and finches at the memory of the pain in his throat. He had some real problems with talking after since the tubes damaged his vocal cords when he was intubated. He'd have a ton of speech therapy after that.

A few days after he was admitted was when doctors started to look for a cause. They decided to examine him (three days too late, he thought to himself) and check any possibility. That's when they discovered his distended stomach. There was a small, rubbery lump over his spleen. He didn't show any sign of pain when it was touched, and that's when the medical professions developed a hunch about what exactly was wrong.

They did a small exploratory surgery, and then biopsied the entire lump that was under his skin. They sent it to the lab for testing, just to see if their hunch was right.

About a day later the results for the biopsy came back, his doctor's frowning grimly at its findings. They'd been right about their hunch.

Within an hour they shared the results with his mother, who in turn hysterically called his father to _"get over here now"_. His dad left the office, picked up his brother, and met her outside his hospital room. She sobbed hysterically in his arms (as any mother would do in her situation), blubbering about his diagnosis. His dad didn't understand what the fuck she was saying, so he asked a nurse when he walked into the room.

Ike said his expression soured when he heard it.

"Your son has Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma."

Despite how smart Ike was, he didn't know what it was, but he assumed it was bad when their father's mood sobered. He'd look it up later on the computer when he got home, but at the moment he just listened in confusion to what the nurse said, and then later the doctor. 

Ike told him it was really bad though because they said it had spread to his diaphragm and was causing him difficulty breathing. They where gonna start treatment right away, but until his fever went down he probably wouldn't wake up for a while.

Ike was taken out of school for a while since their parents decided it was a family emergency. Once it had been a month and Kyle still wasn't responding, they decided instead to send him to his friend's house to stay so he wouldn't miss school. His dad was working from home so that he could be there for him and his mom should something worse happen. His mom stayed by his side day and night, he was told, not leaving him unless it was to use the bathroom. 

Stan and Kenny came to visit every once in a while, checking in to see if maybe he'd waken up. When they heard he hadn't though, they'd leave, disheartened. 

Eventually, the doctors came up with the conclusion that he wasn't going to get better. His illness was worse than before, and there had been no improvements. They told his mom that he'd probably not make it to his 13th birthday at this point. His mom cried, stroking his hair and pleading with him to _"wake up"._

May 7th was probably one of his worse days, despite being comatose for it.

His heart stopped, and he was legitimately _dead_ for thirty minutes. They revived him, of course (otherwise how on earth would he be here?) and tried new, experimental methods to get his fever to break so the infection would go down. The infection was making his illness worse and was causing complications.

It took a while, but eventually, his fever broke. He was taken off the respirator, and the next day he woke up. Although his perception was very hazy, he does remember watching his mom cry happily and telling him _how good_ he was before falling back asleep from exhaustion. 

That had been three years ago.

Now here he was, sitting up in his hospital bed chewing the eraser on his pencil as he did his schoolwork. It had been dropped off for him that morning by the nurse, who received it from one of the students who played "delivery man" every Monday morning. He'd get the work, do it, hand it off to Lila (his favorite nurse), and the student would pick it up and drop off his new assignments. It had been apart of his schedule since his admittance, and he wasn't necessarily about to complain. It gave him something to do between the hours he was alone, waiting for visitors or to be taken for scans, tests, chemo, etc. 

A lot had changed in the time he'd been first diagnosed, but some things did stay the same. Stan was still his super best friend, Kenny was still poor, Cartman was (still) an asshole, and all of them hung out after three when school ended. They'd come over and talk about school, play video games, and cause mischief. Typical things they did since they where little kids.

Some things that had changed where looks and interests. Although Kyle mainly stayed the same (he didn't grow much due to his illness), Stan, Kenny, and Cartman grew. Stan was about 5'9 now, a bit muscular since he played football. Kenny was also around 5'9 as well but was still pretty scrawny. He grew his hair out and pierced various parts of his face and body. He also painted his nails, and would sometimes wear dresses and skirts rather than pants or shirts. He came out as genderfluid when he was 14, and kept to it since, constantly changing his appearance daily from male to female. Kyle didn't necessarily care since it was his life. He didn't have a say, so what was the point in mentioning it anyways? 

Cartman was about 6'8 and stayed morbidly obese. Kyle didn't think that would _ever_ change, since he only eats junk food, especially since he has money to spend on whatever he'd like from his job at the Five Guys across town. He still teased Cartman about it, although it was only fair. After all, Cartman loved to rip on him for being a "typical Jew". He had to get back at him somehow, right?

Other changes were relationships. Although Kyle hadn't dated anyone in what seemed like eons, his friends were a different story. Kenny was dating Margie (formerly Butters- he's non-binary, leaning more towards female pronouns). Stan broke up with Wendy for good two years ago, deciding he finally had enough of the on-again-off-again relationship with her. He wasn't currently dating anyone, but was open to a relationship with a guy or a girl, depending on whoever got to him first. Cartman says he has a girlfriend, but he'd not exactly sure if that was just Cartman's way of covering up the fact nobody wants to date his sorry ass. 

A lot of the time, Margie would come to hang out with them when she wasn't (secretly) doing ballet classes with Heidi and Nichole. Craig stopped by every once in a while with Tweek. It was a little surprising to a lot of people at first until they realized the three of them started talking about space the entire time. It started with a school project that he was partnered with Craig on in sixth grade, and they've been on good terms (at least, when it came to science) since then. That only happened occasionally though.

Most of the time, it was just Kyle and the boys. He was okay with that, since having people there even for a little bit cured his loneliness. 

He was a bit caught up in his math problems, so when a slight tapping came from his open door, he didn't bother to look up. 

"Hey, dude! _How_ was your day?" Kyle snapped his head up to look at the person talking and instantly smiled when he saw who it was. Stan was standing in the doorway, backpack strung over his shoulder. He was still wearing his jersey from practice, having rushed over to hang with him before he had to leave for dinner. 

"Was pretty good, yours?" he asked, setting his pencil down. Stan stumbled over to the chair beside his bed gracelessly, tossing his backpack to the floor. 

"It was okay. Cartman got detention again and Kenny had to take Karen home from school cause she's sick" he replied, pinching his brow.

"Poor Karen. Anyways, what's the fatass do this time?"

"Well, he told one of the gay kids to get fucked, since he loves "having a stick up his ass" Stan groaned, looking at Kyle. "When the kid told him to "get fucked", he called the guy a "gay little pussy". Well, what he didn't realize was Mr. Anders standing right behind him, and he was immediately given detention for gay-bashing. Again."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "So, nothing new. Still being an asshole."

The ravenette nodded, sighing heavily. "Pretty much."

Cracking his neck, the blue-eyed boy leaned over, grabbing his backpack. He unzipped the first pocket, grabbing something from out from it and handing it to his best friend. Kyle glanced down at it and grinned, opening the small bag. "Contraband" Stan stated, smirking as Kyle shoved his hand inside. It was a small bag of assorted candies, something he wasn't supposed to have. His mother had never been a fan of him eating candy, and once he was admitted to the hospital she used it as an excuse to ban it from his eating habits. 

"Thanks, Stan" he mumbled, grabbing a gummy worm and sticking it in his mouth. 

"You remembered to check your sugar levels, right?" Stan asked, remembering a little too late to remind Kyle about it. Another reason his mom was a bit adamant about him not having candy was his type 1 diabetes. He wasn't _supposed_ to have it, but it couldn't hurt once in a while, right? 

The redhead nodded, chewing on the jellied sweet. He always knew his sugar levels, since the nurses seemed to check it every hour, along with his other vitals. Not that they needed to, but they did it anyway as a precaution. The jock sighed in relief, leaning back into his chair. Kyle only ate a couple of different sweets before handing the bag back to his friend for safekeeping. Stan quickly tucked them back into his bag, just in case his mom came back early with his brother. 

"Anything else happens today?" the smaller teen asked, looking over at the clock. 3:45 pm, still enough time to hang out. 

"Not really" the ravenette mused, his lips quirking in thought. Cerulean eyes flickered up for a moment as he looked over the redhead with a neutral expression, seemingly lost in thought. A snort came from the younger male, and he playfully crossed his arms.

"Well, did I tell you that I might come home for a little while in October?" he inquired, making his best friend almost jump in his seat. "Wait, seriously?!" the dark-haired boy burst out eagerly, surprised by Kyle's news. He hadn't been home in nearly six months, having only left the hospital for a month last time before being readmitted after needing several adjustments to his treatment plan. 

He shook his head, a small smile creeping onto his face. Stan almost keened in happiness, bouncing a little in his seat like a little kid.

"So, does that mean you're better?" The question made the redhead frown, shifting uncomfortably in his bed. 

"Well, not necessarily. I'm still sick," he mumbled, "but I'm better than I was. Dr. Kalkin said that when I have my ultrasound, if my spleen is normal-sized and the tumors are smaller or gone, then I can continue treatment from home. I'd just come in twice a week to have chemo."

"Will you be able to come back to school?" was the next question the ravenette asked, and Kyle shrugged in response. "I don't know. It depends on how mom feels about it. I'm hoping she says yes since this is our first year of high school. I wanna at least know what it's like to be a freshman."

His response had the other shaking his head, his eyes rolling back at his friend's words. "Trust me, dude, you do not wanna know what it's like."

"Know what's like?" 

Kyle and Stan turned their head to the doorway to see the redheads little brother, his backpack draped over his shoulder. His expression was quizzical as he walked into the room, putting his backpack down and jumping onto the bed near his brother's feet.

"Stop being nosey Ike" the redhead miffed, scowling playfully at the younger boy. The eight-year-old stuck his tongue out in retribution, making both of the older boys chuckle at his quick wit. Although Ike was generally smarter and more mature than his peers, he still acted childish in situations like that. His brother could appreciate that knowing it was mainly to keep it point that Kyle was still older, despite the fact there was no academic gap between the two.

"Make me" the younger brunette retorted, adjusting himself on the bed to a more comfortable sitting position. Kyle rolled his eyes at this but continued to talk to Stan anyways. 

"Well, before Ike interrupted me, I was gonna say that I actually do wanna know. It's boring sitting around all day, at least I'd be able to hang around people my own age."

"True" Stan agreed, his shoulders rolling back in a small stretch. "Well, hopefully, she'll let you come back."

"I don't think our mom would entirely be thrilled about you going back to school, Kyle" Ike chirped, leaning his cheek on his palm. 

"Shut up, Ike. Nobody asked you" the redhead chided, his lips pressing together in a thin line. Of course, there was a lot of truth behind what his baby brother was saying. His mom probably wouldn't even let him out of his room when he goes home, let alone go to school to hang out with friends. 

"I'm only saying the truth!" the younger boy exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. Kyle swatted him playfully, partially in annoyance and partially because he knew his brother was right. Stan watched them, chuckling a bit at the two. Although Stan had a sibling of his own (his older sister Shelly), the two of them never really got along the entire time he'd known her. She was a senior this year, and soon would be heading off to college. Stan wasn't gonna start making an effort to be closer now, even though he wished he could be close to his sister like Kyle was to Ike, or Kenny was to Karen. 

"Yeah, well your truth sucks!" Kyle snorted, "Anyways, where is mom?"

Ike rocked a little on his haunches, thinking for a minute before replying. "She's buying dinner for us and dad in the food court. We're having a "family meal" today cause she has news."

"Aw geez, seriously?" the redhead sighed, throwing his head back. That would mean Stan would probably be leaving around four, and they wouldn't be able to play video games as he'd hoped. He looked over to Stan, olive meeting blue in mutual disappointment. "Well, there goes our evening plans."

The older ravenette could help but wheeze at that. "Oh, so we had a date?"

Kyle rolled his eyes, smirking at his best friend. "Obviously! We had a romantic candlelit dinner planned, remember?"

Both boys cracked up at that, bantering back and forth humorously. Ike rolled his eyes at this, before cupping his hands over his mouth and letting out a vocal "That's gay!"

The two boys howled even louder, Kyle hunching over while Stan rolled onto the floor, his face bright red from laughing. 

"All have you know, I'm bisexual!" Stan wheezed, climbing back up onto the chair. Kyle was still doubled over, his cheeks and chest scarlet in color. Ike apparently found the statement rather funny too, breaking out a little into a soft titter. The three continued to laugh for a few minutes, before finally calming down enough to catch their breaths. 

_Zzzt. Zzzt._

A loud buzzing came from Stan's phone, the screen turning on as an incoming message popped up on the screen. Stan looked down at his cell, and with a groan unlocked it reluctantly.

"Ugh, goddammit. Hey Kye, I gotta go home. My mom needs help getting Randy off his ass" Stan grumbled, standing up out of his seat. 

"Wait, are you serious?" Kyle whined unhappily, "Don't tell me that asshole is drunk again." 

"Yup," Stan muttered, popping the p. "Anyways, I'll see you around Kyle." Exhaling, the ravenette picked up his backpack and trudged to the door. 

"I'll text you later" and with that, the football player was gone, leaving the two brothers in the hospital room alone. 

"Well, that was not only convenient but really weird" Ike mumbled, getting off the bed and sitting in Stan's stop. "You got that right" the redhead miffed, his bottom lip puckering into a pout. Ike shrugged, grabbing his switch from his backpack and turning it on. Kyle leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest (again) and relaxed.

 _Well, now I just need to come up with a plan to convince mom to let me go back_ , he thought to himself. _So long as things go as planned..._


End file.
